Installing Love
Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to install it now. What do I do first?
Tech Support: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART, madam?
Customer: Yes, I have, but there are several other programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?
Tech Support: What programs are running, madam?
Customer: Let's see... I have PAST-HURT.EXE, LOW-ESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running now.
Tech Support: No problem. LOVE will gradually erase PAST-HURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGH-ESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from
being properly installed. Can you turn those off, madam?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
Tech Support: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke
FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until it's erased the programs you don't want.
Customer: Okay, now LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?
Tech Support: Yes. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?
Customer: Yes, I do. Is it completely installed?
Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other HEARTs in order to get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops. I have an error message already. What should I do?
Tech Support: What does the message say?
Customer: It says "ERROR 412-PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS." What does that mean?
Tech Support: Don't worry, madam, that's a common problem. It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTs but has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in non-technical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine before it can "LOVE" others.
Customer: So what should I do?
Tech Support: Can you pull down the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?
Customer: Yes, I have it.
Tech Support: Excellent. You're getting good at this. Now, click on the following files and then copy them to the "MYHEART" directory:
FORGIVE-SELF.DOC, REALIZE-WORTH.TXT, and ACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS.DOC. The system will overwrite
any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete SELF-CRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.
Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with new files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART. Is this normal?
Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but eventually everything
gets downloaded at the proper time. So, LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here. Ah, one more thing.
Customer: Yes?
Tech Support: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and they will return some similarly cool modules back to you.
Customer: I will! Thanks for your help!
22.06.2007. 09:31
Things you should know
THINGS YOU NEVER KNEW YOUR MOBILE PHONE COULD DO.
A few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies. Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival. Check out the things that you can do with it: -
EMERGENCY I
The Emergency Number worldwide for **Mobile** is 112 . If you find yourself out of coverage area of your mobile network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. Try it out.
EMERGENCY II
Subject: Have you locked your keys in the car? Does you car have remote keys?
This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone: If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone.
Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock. Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other "remote" for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).
EMERGENCY III
Subject: Hidden Battery power Imagine your cell battery is very low, you are expecting an important call and you don't have a charger. Nokia instrument comes with a reserve battery. To activate, press the keys * 3370# Your cell will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell next time.
EMERGENCY IV
How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?
To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following digits on your phone: * # 0 6 #
A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. When your phone gets stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless. You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either. If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.
21.06.2007. 12:24
